Wow, I haven't used Blogger in such a long time. The last time I used it was around two years ago. I remember when I was in 4th or 5th grade when Mommy introduced Blogger to me. She wanted me to start using it at a young age so I would continue to use it later on when I started my teenage phase. She also tried doing notebook letters each day and even trying to make my younger self confirm that I would still talk to her when I became a teenager. Now I'm a teenager. Fourteen to be exact. And now my mom is sad. She's always telling me how I don't talk to her enough and my dad said she's frustrated. I don't want her to feel that way and I feel terrible every time someone brings it up, but I'm not sure how to change that. I feel like we are still the same as always, but she complains that I don't talk to her anymore and that I isolate myself. To me, the only thing that has changed is the fact that she starts complaining that I don't talk to her enough. And every time she brings it up, it just makes it more awkward. So now you might be thinking, start talking to her more. That'll solve the problem. But I've tried that. I talk to her about Youth Group and what I learned in my summer classes and some of the things I'm thinking about. But that isn't enough. Well, what else do I talk to her about? Everything else I'm thinking about is stupid and she probably wouldn't bother to listen anyway. And I know if I told her that, she would say that she would listen, but I talk to her about random stuff and most of the times she just nods her head. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. Maybe she should try talking to me about certain things and have me respond instead of making me think of something to talk about. Maybe she should act more interested in what I'm saying and I'll subconsciously open up to her more. Maybe she should stop complaining and forcing conversation and then I'll just start to talk to her on my own. But again, it's always easy to point out others' mistakes and how they should improve, just like what she's doing to me. So let me think from my mom's perspective. Maybe I should try harder to continue the conversation. Maybe I should pay attention to her different conversation starters. Maybe I should just talk about anything. I guess I'll try a little harder. Now my mom's home, so I'm gonna stop.
Monday, November 20, 2023
Dear Future Self
Dear Sophie,
This is yourself from the past. I have just read the letter from myself that I wrote on 10-12-16. I'm 12 now and Nathan is 8. Becoming 12 means having more responsibilities and you have also spent your first year in New Jersey. You still miss Kansas very much and hope to always visit often, but you feel like New Jersey is also your home now. The family always goes to church and you have joined Youth Group. You have changed your mind completely about PCC and feel like it is a bigger step to help grow your relationship with Jesus and becoming a better Christian. 7th grade is going ok and you moved into a giant new house since the last letter.
PCC is great and the Youth Pastor is Pastor Josh. He's so funny and makes Youth Group a little bit more enjoyable. There are so many fun games to play at Youth Group and over the summer, you've had a sleepover at church and gone on a field trip to a laser tagging place. The people there are really nice and many of them already know my name. I can't explain how fun it is to have Christians around you that you can have fun with. Mommy also became the coordinator of the VBS at PCC which was pretty cool. You got to oversee the process of creating the groups of children and enjoy interacting with them. I was able to get Sandra to go to church and she liked it very much. I hope that by this point in time, you have a solid relationship with Christ.
Along with the Christian topic, you are really worried about CWC. Daddy has no job and Mommy got in a car accident. At this rate, you don't have a 7th grade yearbook and probably won't even be able to make it to CWC. You're scared to ask your parents, because if you do, and the answer is no, then you will start crying like crazy. In my heart, I know that I won't be able to go, but if I wait to ask, I can save myself from a little extra
pain.
This is yourself from the past. I have just read the letter from myself that I wrote on 10-12-16. I'm 12 now and Nathan is 8. Becoming 12 means having more responsibilities and you have also spent your first year in New Jersey. You still miss Kansas very much and hope to always visit often, but you feel like New Jersey is also your home now. The family always goes to church and you have joined Youth Group. You have changed your mind completely about PCC and feel like it is a bigger step to help grow your relationship with Jesus and becoming a better Christian. 7th grade is going ok and you moved into a giant new house since the last letter.
PCC is great and the Youth Pastor is Pastor Josh. He's so funny and makes Youth Group a little bit more enjoyable. There are so many fun games to play at Youth Group and over the summer, you've had a sleepover at church and gone on a field trip to a laser tagging place. The people there are really nice and many of them already know my name. I can't explain how fun it is to have Christians around you that you can have fun with. Mommy also became the coordinator of the VBS at PCC which was pretty cool. You got to oversee the process of creating the groups of children and enjoy interacting with them. I was able to get Sandra to go to church and she liked it very much. I hope that by this point in time, you have a solid relationship with Christ.
Along with the Christian topic, you are really worried about CWC. Daddy has no job and Mommy got in a car accident. At this rate, you don't have a 7th grade yearbook and probably won't even be able to make it to CWC. You're scared to ask your parents, because if you do, and the answer is no, then you will start crying like crazy. In my heart, I know that I won't be able to go, but if I wait to ask, I can save myself from a little extra
pain.
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